I live next to a school and on sunny days the kids play outside on the playground. Besides the uniforms and the very few blond heads it could be a schoolyard anywhere in the world. As soon as the kids smell the fresh air, ok, a relative term in Cairo, speech is replaced by screaming and the boys are mean to the girls to show them they like them. I have often wondered if pigtails were invented for the sheer purpose of providing something for boys to pull, and the little ladies already possess quite impressive disdainful looks. No differences are made between nationalities, that I find is something that comes much later.
I will let you into a secret, one that all us females know. If you are a girl and new to a place and want to know what is what as far as the endless dance between the opposite sexes goes, this is the thing to do. We pay a visit to a girls restroom in a bar or restaurant. Female restrooms in public places see the rituals of endless conversations that take place over re-applying of make up, and 90% of these talks concern men. It can vary from discussing possible new suitors to the continued or sudden lack of interest displayed by a specific male and strategies are worked out while yet another layer of mascara and lip-gloss are meticulously spread on already existing ones. Every once in a while there will be a girl in tears, depending on the hour, surrounded by friends that offer tissues, sympathy and advice while stealing small peeks at themselves in the ever present mirrors.
Many men would have a much better social life if they could just eavesdrop for one night in a girl’s restroom.
A while ago I found myself in the restroom of a well known Cairo night club. Here I found something different, a group of ladies of the night dressed and made up in a slightly more exaggerated way than the other girls and the looks in their eyes was more calculative than expecting. Having lived in Amsterdam for a long time I did not have to see red lights to recognize them for who they were and since I had not encountered this in Cairo before I quickly found myself a place to sit and observe.
I watched the subtle exchanges of invitation and acceptance going on around the dance floor and laughed a bit at myself for the sense of surprise I felt at it being so out in the open. Even after all this time I still have moments where I am confronted with my own preconceived notions and it never fails to amuse me when that happens. So much for the notion that the Dutch are open-minded I thought.
Suddenly my musings were interrupted by an older, balding man wearing a suit asking me in a strong Eastern European accent if I vanted to dance? I politely declined to which he counteracted with vould you like a drrrink? My second refusal in a row brought a puzzled look on his face: But zey told me to ask forr dance and drrrink firrrst…. It took me a few seconds but then I could not help but laugh. In between my giggles I managed to inform him that he was talking to the wrong person, see, I am not wearing enough make up! After confirming that I was quite surrrre he turned around, taking his business elsewhere and for a while I contemplated the fact that I was just taken for a woman of questionable morals.
Unfortunately that in itself is not a new experience since I moved to Cairo. We foreign females of all ages are regularly perceived and expected to behave with no morals at all. Our more open and relaxed attitude towards sexuality in the west in general, gets conveniently translated in a notion that we as individuals are at any given time willing to engage in intimate encounters with whomever may feel like asking us.
And to me that attitude is much more offensive than the suited man thinking I was for sale. Some specimens of the Homo Sapiens Egypticus are surprised and even offended when they get refused. On one occasion I was literally asked: But why not, you are European?!
I would like to make a suggestion to these specific men out there. If you cannot think of something nice or clever to say, or even something lame like asking for a cigarette, go back to the pulling of pigtails instead of offering insults to unsuspected females of foreign descent.
I guarantee that it will get you noticed, and you may start a whole new trend. And I promise to fill another column about the new hair-pulling phenomenon in Cairo night life in a few months.
